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A Classic Tale - or the Chocolate Bar Nativity Story

The Christmas Story - with a difference!

There have been various brief versions of the nativity story using the names of chocolate bars, biscuits and sweets to illustrate the story and make it memorable. I have compiled this more complete version. The story is suitable for both children and adults. In fact the talk was originally prepared for presentation to The Rotary Club of Nairn. It was great fun. So many thanks to Cadbury and Nestle, etc.

At Christmas time, one story you will hear many times is that of the Nativity. As you know it’s a CLASSIC tale. It all began with a girl called Mary who heard a WISPA, from an angel (perhaps with a HALO) who told her that she would give birth to God's son. But how could this be? She was not yet married to Joseph. To have a baby now would be real TOPIC of conversation in the village. But in a heavenly ECHO, Joseph also heard of God's plan and decided he had to go along with it.

But before the baby arrived, political events overtook them. Joseph had to return to Bethlehem for the census - it was miles away - a MARATHON of a journey, but Joseph thought the BREAK-A-WAY would do Mary good. They had to travel on a donkey simply because in those days they couldn’t get an AEROplane, a DOUBLE DECKER, or even a TAXI. When they arrived, Joseph tried to find lodgings, but they didn’t have a DIME - and CLUB after CLUB turned them away. “No room”, they all said. Eventually they were offered a small out house - it was there that the baby was born. He was named Jesus, which means Saviour.

That night, some shepherds, and a few DRIFTERS, heard TUNES in the sky. Angels sang "Glory to God in the Highest" and heralded “GOOD NEWS” – and some MINSTRELS, with a BANJO, joined in. The shepherds decided they had to “take a break” from watching sheep, perhaps with a KIT- KAT, and later said to one another, “Why don't we have some TIME-OUT and go and see what's happening in Bethlehem”. When they got there they found the TRIO, Joseph, Mary and Jesus, who was lying in a manger of all places – certainly no bed of ROSES! But they were UNITED in wonder, and they REVELled in the thought that this child was special. Could this be just as the prophets had foretold - was he the LION of Judah? But it was getting late, AFTER EIGHT, in fact - so the shepherds returned to the hills – with DELIGHT in their hearts and singing praise to God as they went.

Meanwhile in a far country, there were some Wise men – many people called them SMARTIES - who were busily scanning the GALAXY and observing the PLANETS, when they saw a new light in the MILKY WAY. Could it be MARS? No, it was a special STAR (BAR) - signalling the birth of a King. As time passed and the clock went TIC-TAC, they realised that if they didn’t get moving, they would soon be out of TIME. They knew they were “MINT” to follow the star so they packed a PICNIC, did up their BUTTONS and climbed on their "CARAMELS". This happened as the snow began falling in SWIRLS and large FLAKES settled on the ground which became so CRUNCHIE that children couldn't even make SNOWBALLS. But they were good TRACKER’S and a few days later, just before TWILIGHT, they arrived at their destination. However, they began to think their "sat-nav" had let them down because it didn’t lead them to a QUALITY STREET.

They went to Herod’s Palace - not afraid to HOBNOB with royalty - to see if Herod knew about this royal birth. Herod was very interested - "A King has been born?" he mused, but deep down he could hardly conceal his SNICKERS. He didn’t really believe the Wise men and thought theM ALL TEASERS, but just to make sure - he reckoned he’d BUTTER SCOTCH this rumour before it began to RIPPLE throughout Jerusalem. So he decided to FUDGE the issue by saying that he wanted to go and worship the baby as well - and told the wise men to report to him on their way back. The wise men set off and eventually found the young Jesus and they offered him their BOUNTY – Gold, but it wasn’t ALL-GOLD - there was some Frankincense, and some Myrrh. Then God warned them in a dream that Herod was up to his TWIX and really wanted to kill the child. So they took FLYTE and headed home over the hills by a ROCKY route.

Now that's just a few HIGHLIGHTS from the familiar story told at Christmas. Some OLD FASHIONED HUMBUGS don’t believe it, but according to the Bible, Jesus was born so that ALLSORTS of people might come know God's love for them. Like the shepherds and the Wise men, many people are looking for meaning and purpose - some kind of BOOST in life - a REFRESHER in difficult times. But the Jesus of the Nativity is no MINATURE HERO and if He is who He said He was, and not just some MAVERICK looking for some SPORT, then the Christmas Story really is a cause for CELEBRATION’S!

You may wish to create a memorable effect by grabbing a handful of Celebrations and throwing them to the assembled crowd!

This version by Iain Fairweather